Jest A Tetch Ah Hillbilly Cultchur
A Little 'bout owah Language
I've heard tell uv yawl nawtherners a makin' fun o' tha way we'uns tawlk down heah. I've eavin heard some of yawl say weez kindly ignart! Course weez a little afended by that but I reckon wif a little edjacation yuh might lairn that we'uns is akschully pretty durn smart. To demonstrate to yawl folks jest haw clevah we ar bout owah speakin' this hyer was sumpin my cuzin Frank wuz a'sayn to my otha' cuzin Saddie. Notice how efficient we ah wif owah wurds; afta all, if'n yuh take the time to lairn a wurd and how to spell it, then yuh ought to use it az much az possible ...
"Saddie Lou, fix me sum aigs 'n bisgits fore ah fix up mah room. Then ah'll fix that worn out stove pipe 'n fix a new knob on it. If thet sherrif don't fix mah ticket ah'm reely gonna fix him cauz ah ain't fixin' to go to jail. Now yawl had bettah fix up the house 'n put all the fixin's on the table after we fix the table fur everyone. Yuh had bettah go fix up yo face too 'n Mama kin fix mah coat 'n both uv us will be fixed up. Then ah'm a fixin' to go tah work or else I'll really be inna fix wif tha boss man".
Interestin' Stuff about Tennessee and North Carolina
TIN-UH-SEE
The nawthernahs had a terrible time heah 'n a battle took place at the drop uv a hat ... speshially a yankee's! This tore the stayut up considahbly 'n they ain't nevah forgot this neithah! ... Wavin' muney seems to make theah memory bad ... but keep in mind thet thez folks still likes a gud fight, but Lawd hep yuh if yawl starts anudder one cauz they've got a Atom bomb factory thar now!
NAWTH CA-LIN-AH
Thez heah folks iz often referred to az Tarheels. Now enybody knows thet win yuh gits tar on yo heels 'n then steps in sand 'r dirt, 'r whutevah yuh steps in, iz gonna stick to yuh feet ... consequently, they jist plain had truble a' walkin'! ... so they wuz clevah enuf to invent the airplane to git them off the groun .. 'n they'll git yawl off the groun too if'n yuh ain't awful nice. Be shore to keep in tetch wid yawl's relatives whilst a' vistin' thar cauz they wunst had a hole colony uv folks completely disappeah on Roanoke Island!
This Ain't THE Univarisiy o' Nawth ca-lin-ah!
The Magic Machine
A Tennessee family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a rather large building. They were amazed by everything they saw -- especially the "magic machine" at one end of the lobby.
The boy asked, "What's this, Paw?" The father responded, "Son I ain't never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is!"
While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed interest, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small lighted room with no windows. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch as the circles lit up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous 24-year-old woman stepped out.
The father turned to his son and said, "Go git yer Maw."
Pitures From Tha HomeStead
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The HomeStead |
The Transformation |
My Dog Sally |
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The Family Portrait |
Me and Momma |
Me, Ready for Wah |
Pitures From Around Tha Holler
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Romance Books meets the Coin Slot |
We don't think ahead round hyer |
Edjucasion is important in the holler |
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Mamma gets done in half the time now! |
Half-staff in honor of Staub's coon dog that died |
Jacked Up! |
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Gettinit Done in the HOV |
Latest Victoria-Sue's Secret purchase |
What? I don't get the joke hyer! |
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Crime control in the holler |
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Warnin' to Yankees
Eny uv yawl yankees whut mite be thinkin' uv startin' the wah agin had best remembah thet we haz now got a atom bomb factory, a'H-bomb factory ... not to menshun a rocket plant ... none uv which yawl has got! Frankly suh, yawl ain't got a dawg's chance next time ... so don't start nuthin' agin! ... jist cum down 'n enjoy yoahself, don't mensun the wah ... eat gobs uv grits ... 'n flash them greenbacks jest as much az yah can! Jest dontchee furgit where yawl came from, heah?
